"Fifth of July" This is How It Ends

We did it.  It's done.  I can't be sad because Judy told me not to be.  So I won't be sad.  This last weekend was a doozy.  To say we went out with a bang would be silly because we'd need a sound effect for that!  And sound effects were not our strong point on closing night.  Something broke and we weren't able to have the phone ring all night.  Of course, we didn't know that until the phone didn't ring in Act One.  We thought the problem was fixed at intermission... Until the phone didn't ring in Act Two, either.  So, somehow we invented call waiting in 1977, we randomly decided to make phone calls for seemingly no reason, etc..  It kept us on our toes.  And Chris Carver was literally on his toes by the end, since his shoe completely ripped apart and fell off during his fight with Johnny.  He tried to put it back on for his exit and you could see his toes through the front of the shoe.  He came back on for curtain call with a duct taped foot.

Oh man, what a ride.  These people:

Will be in my heart forever.  This was one of the greatest theatre experiences of my life.  I've never laughed so hard, seen too much and worked so easily before.  Thank you guys.  I love you.

I will leave the world with the following.  This is what we had to endure in the dressing room from the time he put his pants on until he went on stage.  With the emphasis on repeatedly.  Chris had to get the boys ready.  Ladies and Gentleman, the Nuggle Juggle:

"Fifth of July" Sewin' It Up

One more weekend left, that means two shows.  Truly sad.  But, you have to love live theatre.  This past weekend we had a number of mishaps.  It started Friday night when I went to put on my first costume and the zipper fell apart.  Awesome!  The amazing Judy Naz and Margaret Dwyer sewed me in to my costume just as places were being called.  Judy took the vintage dress home to see if she could fix it and wouldn't you know?  She had the exact same zipper at home!  I mean literally, the exact same zipper, from 1975.  The price was ninety cents.  Crazy pants.

We were kept "on our toes" the rest of the weekend, with sound cues.  Our high tech sound system seems to be getting a little sticky.  Bells didn't go off when they should and phones didn't stop ringing when they were picked up.  These follies were not caused by the fabulous Lane Allison, stage manager. (Our sound system is from the early nineties.  But we are lucky to have it, so I can't complain.)

That is what is great about live theatre, you never know what's going to happen!  I will leave you with a quote from August's eleven year old nephew and doppelganger, who saw the show on Saturday night, "It was better than T.V.!"

Damn straight.

"Fifth of July" Half Way Done: Nuggles

Well, it is sad but true.  We are half way through the run.  The reality is sinking in as the theatre is starting to rehearse for the next show "Othello".  Jim Hanna will be blogging for that show.  The Members' Forum, which is my department, is getting ready for auditions with "Blue Window".  Everyone is moving on.  I can't say I'm happy about it.

In the meanwhile, I will enjoy my role immensely as "June".  I will also, obscenely, enjoy my time backstage with those crazy f&*#ers, who make me laugh so hard I pee a little every night.  It's gross, but true.  I completely forgot what I did about that.

We got Critic's Choice in the L.A. Times:

http://latimesblogs.latimes.com/culturemonster/2011/06/theater-review-fifth-of-july-at-the-lex-theatre.html


So that was pretty amazing.

Besides forgetting some lines and stale bath buns, there's nothing much to say except, "You had to be there."

So, if you haven't... Be there.

www.theprodco,com

"Fifth of July" Opening Weekend: Stop the Tape

We did it!  We finally opened!  Wow.  What a weekend.  We had two great houses, both full of positivity.  I have to say it was strange to hear laughter and lack thereof, in some cases.  Lines we were expecting laughs got none (crickets), and lines I didn't think were that funny got roars.  Like, what's so funny about:

"Everyone did it with June."

Really?  Roars of laughter?  I am a mother for Christ's sake.  Have some respect.

Kidding.  I was a total floozie.

My character.  My character was a total floozie.

Overall we had a great time.  There were even some "magical" moments.  And, of course, you have to love live theatre.  Our tape recorder broke at the top of the show.  The tape recorder that plays through and is a part of a large portion of the show.  That was fun to cover up.  You have to be quick on your toes!  Or, just start laughing, as I did.  Whattya gonna do?

Thank god tonight is a pick up rehearsal.  I have been miserable back in real life.  It's sooooo real.

I need to see some seventies face and chest hair to break me out of this funk!

"Fifth of July" 25th, 26th and Final Dress: Bigger Than a Breadbox?

Here we go.  Tonight is Opening Night.  The last three rehearsals have been strange, I'm not going to lie.  But, I am a firm believer that rocky rehearsals equals amazing performances.  So we should kill it tonight!

I can't explain how fun this journey has been.  In some ways it feels like the end, but we are just getting started!  I mean, look at those two yahoos in that picture.  Six weeks with that?  I'll take it. (By the way, Rob worked very hard on getting that scraggly mess to grow, you should compliment him when you see him.)

I will leave you with some more inspiring words from August:

"You all think you have a big d%&*.  Sometimes you have to swagger it."

Break legs everyone!!!

"Fifth of July" 23rd & 24th Rehearsal: Teching the Fatoush

It was a long two days.  But, there was no place I'd rather be.  We had a bumpy start the first day, but we had three consecutive great runs.  We wore our costumes for the two runs yesterday and that threw in a whole new twist to the show.  The costumes are fantastic and scary.  The seventies certainly had some flare.  The men's pants were certainly tighter back then.  I will leave you with a quote from Rob:

"I feel like I need to part the Red Sea, but I'm not Moses."

Take from that what you will.

"Fifth of July" 20th, 21st, and 22nd Rehearsal: Trees Should have Children

This week was all about running the show.  It's definitely had it's ups and downs, but I think we are getting there.  There was a tree/wood theme this week in the dressing room.  It started out with Johnny Yoder (Jed) coming to me with a problem:

"So, Jen, I was in my office today and there is a really low wooden beam by my window and I normally duck, but today I backed right into it," Johnny told me.

"Oh no," I responded.

"Yeah, but the problem is... I think I have a sliver in my head."

"A what?"

"A sliver.  Could you look at it?"

"A silver in your head?  That's awesome.  Sure, I'll look at it."

"Are you sure?  It's not too weird?"

"Johnny, I'm a mom.  I've looked in weirder places today."

So, I moved his mop top out of the way and sure enough there was a sliver deep in his scalp.  It amazed me.  He had to have been going full speed for that piece of wood to get through all of that hair and pierce his scalp.

Poor kid. He was out of it all night.

The next day Rob was in the dressing room staring at himself, as usual.  Not in a vain way in a curious way.  Then after places were called and the room got silent, he turned to us and said:

"Does my head look like a tree?"

Which of course was confusing.  Then I looked at his shirt which had a trunk of a tree starting at his neck which led down to roots that sprawled across his chest.  His head did look like a tree.

"Or, am I the roots?" he said.

Then he tried to turn his head upside down and, yes, he could be the roots as well.  Fascinating.  Deep thoughts.

Two days after the sliver incident, during a run I came back to the dressing room for a moment between scenes.

"What's burning?" I asked Judy.

"Nothing, anymore," she replied.

"Oh, was someone smoking?" I figured.

"No, I was sterilizing a needle," she laughed.

"For what?"

"I took that damn sliver out of Johnny's head."

Leave it to the moms to take care of it.

"Here it is," she pointed.

"Holy crap! That was in his head???" I whisper screamed.

"Yep."

And here it is:

This tree trunk was in Johnny's head for over three days!  Talk about horticultural!

Anyways, he survived.  Today we are entering day one out of two of tech.  It sounds bad, but August and T.L. are the best tech-ers I've ever worked with.  I'm looking forward to a long, relaxing day, sans wooden beams.

"Fifth of July" 17th, 18th & 19th Rehearsal: Plug Your Ears

I'm lagging on the posting.  Jeez.

Basically, we are now just running the show.  Which is awesome.  Thank god that line nightmare is over.  (For the most part.)  Now, if I could only stop having laughing fits on stage.

We are in the midst of fine tuning things.  Most recently, our off stage dialogue.  Not our backstage gossip sessions.  Which really isn't gossip at all.  (We mostly talk about food cleanses and drugs.) Our actual offstage dialogue.  Almost every character has a line or two that is supposed to come from somewhere offstage: the shower, a bedroom, the kitchen, the driveway, etc..  Prior to today, we all sounded like we were in the same room (because we were).  Yet, we were all expecting a different effect.   So, Carver (Wouldn't you know?) started experimenting with variations of doors open and shut, to get different sound effects.

And it worked!  The problem was remembering what door was shut or open during our line.  T.L. wrote them down, but he was in the audience by the time we started.  And most of us forgot which variation we settled on.  My favorite conversation backstage was this:

"Wait- Which door was open for the driveway?" said Jen Albert.

"The bathroom door's closed and the stage door is open three inches and we yell facing the stage," Carver informed us.

"Wait- Three inches?  How do you remember it was three inches?" I asked.

"One, two, three," he showed me with his fingers between the door and the frame.

"I mean, don't get me wrong- There's nothing wrong with your three inches," I retorted, "I just don't know how you remembered that."

And that is all I will say about that.  I have vowed to try and make less fun of Carver.

It is very difficult.

He is growing a beard.

That he's turning into mutton chops and a handle bar mustache.

I'm done.

I promise.

For now.

"Fifth of July" 16th Rehearsal: Ouch! Contraption!

Don't smoke the tarragon.

"When you stick a needle in a horse's ass... You have to tap it on the forehead."
-August Viverito

'Nuff said.

"Fifth of July" 14th & 15th Rehearsal: Hell Freezes Over

Yes, everyone, Hell has frozen over.  Not because of the major historical events that have transpired since my last entry.  White noise, compared to this:

Christopher Daniel Carver did not know, nor have an anecdote for, a... Question.  You heard it here first.

Let's take this moment to absorb that thought.

It's scary.  What else could happen in the world?  Someone on Wall Street actually serves time?

No, probably not.  Unless we are talking about the movie "Wall Street". (Enter obvious Charlie Sheen joke here.)

Nevertheless, it's true.  Christopher Daniel Carver did not know the story behind who "Naomi and Jezebel" are.  Now, let me just say this-  No one else did either.  But, Carver?  He knows everything, or he at least thinks and sounds like he does.  A few examples:

I missed my cue again last night, because I was getting a lecture on the difference between tequila and mezcal.  Apparently, tequila is only made from "blue" agave and only made in Jalisco.  Anything else, is mezcal.  Interesting, huh?  (Well, you should see him describe it.  It's very physically involved.)

Chris has a reference to "the little Dutch Boy" in the show.  And, according to Chris, "the little Dutch Boy" was created by an American, not by the Greeks or the Dutch.  Now, I don't know what the hell he is talking about here.  I thought the Dutch Boy had something to do with paint.  But, he sounds like he knows what he's talking about, so I'm going with it.

And, the question was raised to Jen Albert on whether or not she knew what it felt like to take a quaalude.  She did not.  But, true to form, we all got a very detailed description of what it was like.  From who else?  (I'm sure he had just googled it for research.)  Actually, surprisingly, a few people were able to help out in that department.  One person, who shall not be named, said they didn't quite remember what it was like, but they, "Got laid a lot."

Fun group.  I love my people.  The people.

And did you know the eskimos only have four words for snow?  (That was actually from August.)

Anyways, I have to get back to memorizing my lines.  Since I clearly don't know them yet.  I'm sure Chris is at home doing the same thing.

Or, wait... No.  He's building a contraption, at home, that will throw his voice, so he sounds like he is walking from a car before he enters in Act One.

WikiCarver.

"Fifth of July" 12th & 13th Rehearsal: Chiggers

Well, the last two days have been a struggle.  Thankfully, for my ego, I am not the only one grappling with the lines.  I also left each night with a headache and/or a stomachache from smoking tarragon.  Yes, tarragon.  We smoke a joint together on stage and party pooper August won't let us smoke a real one.  (Something about the law, or some nonsense.)  So, we have to settle for tarragon for now.  Apart from the side effects, it won't stay lit.  So, Chris Carver, M.D. gave us a lecture of how to keep it lit and the best way to smoke it.  He jumped three lines just get the joint passed to him.  I don't know why.  The tarragon just makes your mouth taste herby and you want to eat grapes.  It must be pavlovian for him.  He sees a joint and starts to salivate.  Silly Carver.

"Fifth of July" 10th & 11th Rehearsal: What Say?

Off book.  In theory.  Until someone pauses, then all of the actors panic and think they've dropped their line.

"Is it me?"

"It's my line."

"What is it?"

"Oh, you said it differently this time.  I was waiting for the 'the' in your line.  It threw me off."

That has been the rehearsal process for the last two days.  But, in between the uncertainty, there have been some beautiful moments.  So, as long as no one takes a pause to transition, think or (god forbid) act, we're doing good.  Otherwise, it's pandemonium.

"Fifth of July" 9th Rehearsal: Summer Stock

"Summer stock" is, apparently, what people hear when I'm tired and I say, "Since we're stopped."  Which is what we did today.  We stopped.  Margaret was out and we took our time going through Act 2, dissecting every sentence.  Seriously.  But, it was awesome.  We all tried to figure out our past and gave our opinions on what we thought happened.  It's what we live for in theatre.  This is why we do it.  We do commercials for the money and theatre for days like today.

I was so sad rehearsal ended.  I hope we pick up where we left off, with all of our new discoveries. Tomorrow we have to be off book.  But, it didn't seem that bad today.  I'm not as scared as I was.  We'll see though.  You never know.  That's also why I love theatre.

You never know.

"Fifth of July" 8th Rehearsal: I Don't Remember

I'm so tired, I honestly don't even remember much of last night.  We ran the show, I know that.  Oh, oh and I remember that I knew a whole page of dialogue!  But, I was so impressed with myself that I forgot what I was doing and stopped dead in the scene.  Other than that, it's a blur.  Maybe that imaginary joint was real?  Damn that Carver.

"Fifth of July" 7th Rehearsal: This Could Be Good

Last night we ran Act 1 again.  It was very impressive.  Some people didn't use their scripts.  Scott used his crutches for the first while holding his script and still connecting with people.  Others, like me, held their script and cursed because they didn't know their lines and they were trying to connect.  Okay, their weren't others.  I was the only one doing that.

Regardless, if this is just the beginning, I am excited.

"Fifth of July" 6th Rehearsal: Here It Is

So, unbeknownst to me, we went over Act 2 again last night.  I, of course, had been working very hard on Act 1.  It was actually really fun.  Apparently, my entrance is hilarious.  The reason, I'm told, is when I hear my cue, "Tasmania", everyone can hear my boots entering.  So, when we keep working the scene, everyone is hearing, "Tasmania", then stomp stomp stomp.  Haha, very funny.

Tonight we will work Act 1, (still totally unprepared), then a portion of Act 2.  I'm still in denial about Sunday's deadline for lines.  I'm hoping they magically come out of my mouth on Easter Sunday.  A lot of miracles have supposedly taken place on that day right?

Lord, help me.

"Fifth of July" 5th Rehearsal: Blocking Done

Yes, we finally finished blocking last Wednesday.  And, yes, more laughter ensued.  Is that a bat?  Sunday, the members helped tear down the "Young Man from Atlanta" set.  (I cleaned the box office.  I'm not to be trusted with a Makita.)  While finding a place for the open wine bottles...

What?  They were going to go bad anyway?

I realized that we only had a week before we have to be off-book.  What!???  So, I thought about it for a while with my bottle of Vendage, and realized it's not impossible.  I will just have to sacrifice some "Real Housewives" watching for actual work.  Bye, bye Ramona, with your crazy eyes.

"Fifth of July" 4th Rehearsal: I'm in Love

Last night we worked what we already blocked (Act One).  At first I panicked, because I thought we were going to continue blocking the show.  I was not prepared to actually act.  (When am I ever?)  So, after a quick scan of my script, we were on our feet.  And it was awesome.  It is a very complex show.  Half of the time you don't even know who you are addressing, let alone what you are saying.  Last night, we got to work some of that out.  There was a lot of, "Ohhhhh, so that's what that means.  That makes so much more sense now."  I think many of us realized what a gem we have on our hands.  It seems silly, because of course it should be good.  Now I think we're realizing it is that good.

And, yes, I am totally in love.  I love my character, my co-workers and even the director.  Sorry, Hanna.  I've moved on.

What a mushy puss.  Don't worry, I'm just in the honeymoon phase of the show.  Soon, we will stop having sex and we'll start resenting each other.  But, of course, I can't write about that part.

"Fifth of July" 3rd Rehearsal: Half Day

Well, we actually finished blocking Act One.  I don't know how August does it, but he does.  Wait until you see how many purses, paraphernalia, candy boxes, etc. he has to keep track of.  We were done early, which will never happen again, I'm sure.  Pretty standard rehearsal though: hash, cocaine (a.k.a. snow), actual snow, thawing caribou meat, and a joint.  Just another day at the office.

I don't know why my race car driving husband doesn't understand my job.

"Fifth of July" 2nd Rehearsal: Is There a Moon Tonight?

Well, there must have been some sort of moon out, because last night was hilarious.  As we inched our way through the blocking, and I mean inched (we only got to page 26), there was no shortage of laughter.  Even August was smiling.  TL said he had not laughed that hard in a long time.  Between Crazy Aunt Sally and spaced out Wes, we all got a little loopy.

Sure.

"Judy?  Why are you on your knees?" was what I thought was going to be the quote of the night, until Sally's line (out of nowhere), "Is there a moon tonight?" had us rolling for about ten minutes.  Judy kept saying, "No, I can do it.  I can.  Just let me try." Until we tried and all busted up again.  That led to a slew of ridiculous and frankly inappropriate jokes that I can not put in this blog.  Just a  hint: We discovered at one point there was a Talley sandwich.  You'll have to see the show to figure out what that is.

On an even more upsetting note-  I have to deal with Chris Carver hitting on me (in character).  Ewwww, he played my son in the last show.

About which Chris said,  "There are some disturbing Oedipal things going on in this play."

To which Scott replied,  "Why do they have to be disturbing Oedipal things?"

'Nuff said.

Table Read for Lanford Wilson's "Fifth of July"

Well, I have to be honest....

My stomach was in knots on my way to the theatre.  You never know how the first read-thru is going to go.  Will I like everyone?  Will they like me?  Am I going to spontaneously forget how to read and get fired?  It can happen.  Believe me.

Luckily, I was able to put a few words together and I really liked the whole cast.  It was great to see some old faces and meet some new friends.  (By "old faces", I mean Margaret Dwyer.  She's playing fourteen, which is really a Hollywood 40.)  We shared some Juicy Juice, grapes and a few cookies.  If you threw in some hot bath buns and sunscreen, it was like we were already out on that wooden porch in Act Two.

Tomorrow we start blocking, which is going to be a monster.  August has been working all day on it.  I don't envy his job right now.  All eight of us are (pretty much) on stage for two hours, running in and out.  Which is fun for the actors, not for the director and assistant director.

I feel very privileged, to be part of such a talented group of people.  Now, whether or not they like me is a different story.  They better...

I write the blog.  (Insert smiley face here.)